💡✍️ADN #120: A Good Yes vs. A Bad Yes

I say yes more than I should.

Yes, to meetings that matter more to someone else than to me.

Yes, to fresh ideas that distract me from the work I already committed to.

Bottom line?

I’ve been a yes-man more than I’d like.

The truth is:

A yes should feel earned.
It should never be your default.

Before you say it, run it through a filter:

• Does this align with my goals?
• Will this move me forward?
• Am I saying yes out of obligation or because it genuinely matters?

If the answer is no, don’t let guilt trick you into a yes.

The Hidden Cost of Yes

Yes is seductive.

It sounds like momentum, like open doors, like playing the game.

But every yes has a cost — your time, energy, focus.

And if you aren’t careful, those yeses will pile up until you have no bandwidth left for what matters.

It’s easy to believe that more yeses = more opportunities = more success.

That’s a lie.

The people who achieve the most aren’t the ones who say yes to everything.

They are the ones who are ruthless with their time and energy.

The biggest risk of saying yes too often?

One day, the right opportunity will come, and you’ll be too tied up in someone else’s priorities to take it.

How to Say No (Without Sounding Like a Jerk)

Saying no isn’t rude.

It’s strategic.

It’s respecting your time enough to protect it.

If a flat-out no feels too harsh, try this:

• The polite decline: “I appreciate the opportunity, but I’m focused on a big project and won’t be able to commit right now.”
• The defer: “This sounds great, but my schedule is full for the next few months. Can we revisit this later?”
• The redirect: “I’m not the best fit for this, but I know someone who might be.”

A well-placed no is not rejection — it’s a boundary.

Boundaries protect your focus, energy, and ability to do work that matters.

The Anatomy of a Good Yes

Want to know what a good yes looks like?

A good yes is doing the next tough task, even when you don’t feel like it.

It’s the unsexy, repeatable work that moves you forward.

• If you’re a podcaster, it’s recording, editing, and posting — not launching a second podcast.
• If you’re a chef, it’s prepping for tomorrow’s rush — not opening a second restaurant.
• If you’re an artist, it’s writing, recording, and releasing — not chasing a side project because it feels new and fun.

A good yes lays another brick on the house you’re building.

A bad yes starts a new house while the first one is still half-built.

The Danger of Too Many Yeses

Sometimes, balancing multiple things works.

But say yes to too much, and you’ll have room for nothing.

Think of your time like a closet.

Every yes is another item of clothing.

If you never purge the unnecessary, you’ll run out of space.

Then, when something truly valuable comes along, there’s nowhere to put it.

You are clearing space for the right opportunities.

The Ultimate Test: Do You Regret Your Yes?

A bad yes comes with regret.

You’ll feel it immediately.

• You wish you could take it back.
• You feel resentment every time it comes up on your calendar.
• You’re spending time on something that doesn’t excite or move you forward.

A good yes, on the other hand, creates momentum.

It challenges you, but it aligns with your bigger picture.

It doesn’t pull you away from your goals — it reinforces them.

A bad yes is dangerous.

Because when the right opportunity finally comes, you might be too tied up to say anything but no.

Choose Your Yeses Wisely.

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See you next Sunday,

Neil